


A Douchenozzle and a Foot Masseur Walk Into a Bar

by CosmoKid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Gen, There's A Little Murphamy Too, Trans John Murphy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:09:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18112991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: For prompt: “don’t make me laugh i’m trying to be mad at you”





	A Douchenozzle and a Foot Masseur Walk Into a Bar

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Mbege asks, plonking himself down on the couch, kicking his feet out so they lay on Murphy’s lap and glaring at him. 

He deadpans, “You’re a lot less threatening when your ugly ass feet are in my lap.”

“Yeah, well that’s because I expect a foot massage as an apology for being such a douchenozzle.”

“Douchenozzle, that’s a new one,” he remarks, raising his eyebrows at lifting one corner of his mouth in a purposeful sneer just to piss him off a little bit. “You know I’m not giving you a foot massage, right? I have no idea what I did this time, but it’s definitely not bad enough for you to demand a _goddamn foot massage_.”

“Oh it definitely is, asshole,” Mbege tells him, giving him a flat look. He rolls his eyes. “What’s wrong with my feet?”

“You haven’t clipped your toenails in weeks because of that stupid bet with Emori!”

“Fuck you.”

“Uh no thanks, you clearly have no care for your own health since you haven’t clipped your toenails in like seven freaking weeks. I’m not getting anywhere near that!”

“Says the guy who wore his binder for twenty-one hours straight last week!”

“Oh let me tell you, there was nothing straight about that,” he says and sees a hint of a smile on Mbege’s face at it. “And maybe I’m just trying to entice death a bit, you know, sweeten the deal. Really, you shouldn’t complain, you’ll get the life insurance that I haven’t paid in ever.”

Mbege lets out a laugh before he scowls. “Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you!”

“Yeah, we still haven’t established why you’re mad at me,” he points out and shrugs. “I know I’m an asshole, but I haven’t done anything that assholeish for a while.”

“I’m mad at you for something else, but I’m still mad at you for wearing your binder for twenty-one hours last week because that is not healthy, Murphy,” Mbege says and Murphy just snorts. “And I’m mad at you because you and Bellamy kissed and you told Raven before me!”

“Oh,” he says, his mouth making a perfect circle. “Yeah no, I didn’t actually tell Raven. I was just accidentally phoned her before he kissed me? And then like when I went ‘wait, Bell, what the fuck, why did you kiss me’, she heard it, you know?”

Mbege gives him a flat look like he’s trying to decipher why they’re friends. “Tell me everything, you idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :D
> 
> also pls dont wear a binder for twenty-one hours it is not good for your health
> 
>  
> 
> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://cosmo-k-i-d.tumblr.com/%22)  
> 


End file.
